Watford WD24
email@amandawellstherapy.com
07984 449342
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07984 449342 email@amandawellstherapy.com

If you have any questions or would like to make an appointment, please contact me on the details below or you can use the form.  You can also check out my facebook page, where I post blogs, articles and relevant posts https://www.facebook.com/amandawellstherapy/.  You can find my GDPR Data Protection Policy Amanda Wells Privacy Policy – 21 May 2018.

Chose you – prioritise yourself – you are the only one who can do that for yourself.  Time flies by in a whisper.  Make sure that you’re living it as the best possible version of yourself.

amandawellstherapy@gmail.com
www.amandawellstherapy.com

07984 449342
01923 219923

Watford, WD24

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5 days ago

Amandawellstherapy

Loneliness and our elderly - small moments of connection make their absolute day

My clients range from aged 10 to 79. I feel very fond of my lovely elders that i work with, they bring me much joy - I learn so much from them. I love the courage to come into the therapy room, still willing to work on themselves and wanting to grow, learn and change, even in their 70s. They recount many facinating tales from a long history, sometimes of very difficult times. They have seen so much - what an enormous change from fighting in wars, living through true poverty, fighting for freedom and equality in the 60's, through to now in this technological age.

From an era where vulnerability and talking about emotions was frowned upon, mental health was treated with asylums, lobotomy's and electric shock treatment. Men had to be men's men, stoic, never showing weakness. Women had very little rights or equality and were the home makers. People had been through wars, which almost took away what they feel is their right to moan or complain about anything.

The most heartbreaking part of what i hear, which brings me tears as i sit alongside them at times, is around loneliness for them right now in their lives, after everything they've already lived through. Its rife, not just for the elderly I know but there is something more fragile for someone who has lost their parents, family and friends as people reach an age around them. The ultimate life stage change. Imagine having nobody. They may not have children or its not a given they're still in touch.

They feel invisible, like they don't matter, they're not important nor do they count mean in society 'I'm just an old woman now" "who wants to listen to a silly old man like me". They might be in relationships where they don't feel loved but they feel stuck and too afraid of being alone to make any changes. They're terrified of loneliness. They've sometimes lost mobility and confidence with it so end up super isolated.

They really look forward to sessions for the company, but also to have deep, meaningful conversations of depth about how they feel. More importantly to them is to have somewhere where they feel like they matter.

If you want to do something really wonderful, why don't you become a volunteer befriender through Age UK? www.ageuk.org.uk/get-involved/volunteer/local-services-volunteer/

Or make an effort with the elderly neighbours in your street. Pop in and have a cuppa. Ask them about their life. Or pass the information below on, spread the word about local services that mightn't know about.

The difficulty is that unless they go out looking for it, they don't know these services exist, unless they're computer literate, which is very often not the case.

There are organisations out there that can help like Age UK, Herts Mind Network, The New Leaf College, Older Peoples Mental Health Services, Nightlights. There is also the Telephone Club which provides a befriending service for the elderly.

There are brilliant groups like United 3rd Age or U3A for over 50's which have hundreds of local groups that explore a large variety of topics.

There is the Green cateen drop in sessions for those with green fingers to help grow produce to raise finds for Herts Mind Network.

There are lunch clubs and local activities www.hertfordshire.gov.uk/services/adult-social-services/day-services-and-activities/day-services-....

There are wonderful connecting groups like the Monday Morning Club at Soul Survivor where they will scoop you up and try and help you to make friends and create a positive supportive network of friends around you.

There is also social care support - www.hertsmere.gov.uk/Health--Wellbeing/Support-for-Older-People.aspx

Always let people know that they matter to you. Smile, acknowledge, let them know that you see them. Small connections make their absolute day.
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2 weeks ago

Amandawellstherapy

Stress is a part of life. There are many obstacles and it impacts us individually in different ways. If you give out too much energy, or there are too many depleting rather than nourishing tasks, you'll end up burned out and exhausted.

There are lots of stress management techniques and ways to self care. Its important to the individual that those ways resonate so that they're sustainable and you're able to weave them into life.

My world is very busy running a business, family and home, so I need a variety of techniques to use at different times to help me to maintain balance and slow down.

Mine include

Meditation, breathing techniques, yoga, sound healing and gong baths, fight klub, roller skating lessons, walking with my dog and riding my bike.

Spending time with people who nourish my soul with their positive uplifting energy, connecting with those that I love and connecting with people generally.

Watching comedy shows, laughing wherever possible. Spending time with my kids who ground me and engage me in playfulness.

Feeding my body with nutritious, tasty food brings me a lot of joy. Avoiding too much junk food and cutting out caffiene but at the same time having a treat if i want one. Taking supplements like magnesium, vitamin D, vitamin B and iron and a good probiotic. Making smoothies with ginger, chlorella, wheatgrass and spirullina to help my body heal.

Following good sleep hygiene, listening to jazz and chilled music or uplifting energetic music depending on my mood, dancing around the kitchen like no-one is watching, slowing down - taking time to rest, taking a bath. Taking breaks, a visit to the seaside every now and then. Learning something new, currently tarot and upcoming Reiki 1.

Attending supervision to aid my work and receive guidance. Treating myself, having massages, spine alignment, acupuncture to look after my body. Even getting my nails done boosts self-esteem by doing something nice for myself.

Doing mindful tasks such as reading to wind down to sleep at night time. Painting and creating from ideas from pintrest or you tube tutorials, mindful colouring. Gardening or mindful walking.

Journalling or writing to do lists, expressing through writing, vision board creating. Gratitude lists, positive affirmations. Setting new goals and challenges to motivate me.

I do these things easily because i enjoy them, so it doesn't feel like an effort but they're part of my whole self-care package. They nourish and ground me, different ways at different times - not all of these things all at once of course, but enough variety to keep it fresh over the months.

What would you like to do? What helps you to feel balanced? What brings you joy? What did you used to do that you loved, that you don't anymore? How can you engage in play?

You are super important - you can't pour from an empty cup - you have to fill yourself full of energy to enable you to be fully present for others. Only you can look after yourself, so please do.
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3 weeks ago

Amandawellstherapy
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4 weeks ago

Amandawellstherapy

Unfortunately I see a lot of teens in my therapy room with anxiety from exam pressure (as well as the confusion of growing up and trying to find their feet!).

Teachers are under pressure to achieve results for schools and pass that pressure down, ruling by fear. Telling the children that their lives will be ruined if they don't revise as much as humanly possible, piling homework on top, not allowing them to fit in the revision that they'd like to do or concentrate on areas that they need to revise. If they don't do their homework, they get detention and they're not allowed to use detention to study. "You'll end up in a dead end job working for peanuts, you won't be able to have all of the things that you want in life...".

Everyone is different, not all academic, many are creative. Some know what they want to do and know that they need to go down the uni path. Others don't and will find their path later in life. Whilst encouraging to do their best is important, scaring them to death, inducing enormous fear and anxiety is not conducive to learning.

If you know of any anxious teens that need a little extra help during this next term, please forward this post. These breathing techniques might provide a little calm in their heads and breathing space to think straight when it comes to their important days.

www.youtube.com/channel/UCslHSoXuGCJk3_wJEcKT13w
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4 weeks ago

Amandawellstherapy

“When a child with slow processing speed sees the letters that make up the word ‘house,’ she may not immediately know what they say. She has to figure out what strategy to use to understand the meaning of the group of letters in front of her. It’s not that she can’t read. It’s just that a process that’s quick and automatic for other kids her age takes longer and requires more effort for her. [ ]
Slow speed of processing has an impact on executive functioning skills. These are the thinking skills that help us plan, set goals, respond to problems and persist on tasks. You may have trouble getting started on assignments, staying focused and monitoring how well you’re doing.” www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/information-processin...
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